Ticks Suck.

Literally. Figuratively. However you want to look at it. Ticks suck. In more ways than you can possibly imagine. Unless, like me, you're unlucky enough to have become intimately acquainted with the creepy-crawly little parasites and the plethora of nasties that they carry. Then you have plenty of frightening thoughts with which your imagination can run wild. Living with Lyme Disease is one thing. I've come to accept the fact that I live in a Hot Zone and will have to forever choose between having toxic chemicals sprayed on my property 4 times each summer, and the filthy little blood-sucking bastards that carry any number of hideous and nasty diseases. I understand that I will most likely be taking weirdly-named Chinese herbs for an unspecified amount of time without ever truly having a way of knowing whether or not the Lyme has been obliterated. I accept that it's causing black holes in my brain that words and numbers and thoughts are getting sucked into on a daily basis, never to be heard from again. OK. That's one thing. But now, it would appear, I may also have a raging case of Babesiosis. Or, as I call it, somewhat jokingly, The Babes.

Of course, it's not really a case of the Babes. Hardly. That's not something I've ever REALLY been accused of being. Far from it. It isn't pronounced BABES-ee-O-sis (although I think it's funnier that way). It's Buh-BEE-see-O-sis. (I wonder if "Oh-BEE-see-O-sis" is also confirmed medical condition? Because I also have THAT). And, as luck would have it, it's potentially fatal. Well, fabulous!

Now, how would one go about finding out if one actually has a dreaded case of the Babes? Well, let me tell you. It involves an additional $250 blood test (different than the one for Lyme) at another independent laboratory that the Super Duper Insurance Company will not cover. And, if it turns out that yes, indeed, you do have a raging case of the Babes, well, Babesia is a protozoan, not a spirochete, so your original dose of Lyme drugs wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't kill it. So... you guessed it. You also need another round of antibiotics. As if four months of the stuff followed by 6 months of EXTREMELY expensive Chinese herbal supplements (also not covered by said SDIC) weren't enough. Come on. My birth control has been screwed up for MONTHS already.

If you take any advice from this at all, all joking aside: if you live ANYWHERE in northern New England, from Maine to Connecticut, or even Rhode Island, (or anywhere with ticks, for that matter) and you get bit by a tick, pluck it out, keep it, and take it to a LYME LITERATE doctor. If you can't find one, take it to a vet. They will be able to tell you if it's a deer tick or a dog tick. Deer ticks are the ones that carry Lyme, but dog ticks carry Babesiosis and Erlichia as well as other creepy diseases that are difficult to diagnose. Get treated if you need to. Don't mess around with it. Don't take it if the doctor blows you off. INSIST you get tested. Your best shot is to catch it early and treat it quickly.

And DON'T let them tell you there's no need to worry because there aren't ticks in your area. Bullshit. If you have deer, you probably have ticks. Period. End of story. And if you have bird feeders, then you have chipmunks and mice and squirrels who are like giant, furry charter buses bringing them right to your front door free of charge. Don't feed your birds in the summer. And understand that nymph ticks, which are just as capable of transmitting disease as adult ticks, can be no bigger than a speck of sand or the tip of a sharpened pencil. And that bulls-eye rash they talk about as being a tell-tale sign of Lyme infection? Don't count on it. A lot of people don't get one, or don't see it if they get bit in an inconspicuous area like the hairline or the back of the leg. I didn't have one. Neither did Mark. If you're in long grass or the woods, check yourself, check everyone else, and do it often. If you're in a Hot Zone like me, check yourself every time you go outside. I picked up a tick in my brother-in-law's gravel driveway a couple of weeks ago. One bite is all it takes.

I told you. Ticks SUCK.